How to Find a Safe Provider (And not get ripped off)

I recently read a fabulous post on Reddit about how to find a safe Sensual Massage Provider or Escort, so I'm reposting it here. In a world full of scammers, here are some tips that might be helpful!

Here's the original post:


• Suggested safer websites: Sacred,,, SFStation, Private, Slixa, Preferred411 (must be a paid and verified member to access) Avoid the trashy sites, and always let your provider know which site you found her on, as this helps us know where to concentrate our advertising budget.

• Do NOT initially look for providers on Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram, Onlyfans, Kik, Whisper, Reddit, etc. These are not used for such things, and are hotbeds for scams.


• Yes, you will have to take some time to do some research and not go in blindly - conducting no research is the best way to get into bad situations. Research honestly takes maybe 10-20 minutes.

• Types of ads to stay away from (or proceed with caution if you decide to contact them):

  • extremely explicit ads

  • ads with vulgar/xxx photos

  • brand new ads that were recently created within the last week

Look For Providers Who:

  • Have ad posting history on multiple websites, and have ads that are at the very least a few weeks old. The longer the ad posting history, the better. Consistent ad-posting frequency, and a personal website, with their rates and booking process laid out, are great indicators of a real provider.

  • Have an active social media presence (Twitter is most common, followed by Instagram and Onlyfans).

  • HAVE A SCREENING PROCESS: It is common practice that escorts/massage providers screen their clients - it's for their safety, which translates to your safety. Screening means the provider has good boundaries (i.e. they won't stalk you afterward, overshare, put you through drama, and they don't just see anyone blindly. Would you expect a top level Queen to feel safe meeting a total stranger off the internet, behind closed doors, without even knowing their name? That's reckless and reeks of low self esteem...a risky combo to engage with as a client. We are not interested in your specific information after we have verified you are safe - no established provider is interested in blackmail or anything like that. We make excellent money off of being a reputable provider with regulars, and if any bad word gets out about a known provider mishandling ethics, it would ruin their business.

All of these taken together - ad frequency and history, social media, personal website, having a screening process, and any reviews - these are like the escort's resume showing we are experienced and real.
  • I will make a special note that if a provider doesn't screen, it doesn't automatically mean they aren't safe. But make sure they at least have ad-posting history, frequency, and then proceed with caution.
Lack of online presence coupled with no screening is a red flag, do not proceed. Not all providers will have or want social media - but make sure they at least have ad posting history and frequency.

Additional steps you can take:

  • Google the providers phone number to see all the ad websites they post on. (Please also be aware that there are ad sites who put up our ads without our permission and in those cases, we do not have access to these ads, to be able to update pricing, or even remove them. So always go with the rates and terms on a provider's website if they have one, as these will be the most under our control.

  • Reverse image search the ad pictures to make sure they are unique and not stock photos or ripped off from some Instagram model.

  • BE WARY OF ADS THAT HAVE EXTREMELY LOW DONATIONS (less than 250h for massage, less than 500/hr for escorting)


Pre-book an appointment as far ahead as possible. Some providers do not take same day appointments, and those that do usually require a few hours notice.

• Before contacting a provider, make sure to read their ad, and website, in its entirety

• Contacting a provider and asking something that is clearly on their ad or website is a great way to be ignored, blocked, or chewed out.

• Do NOT ask about specific things you want, or talk explicitly, you are paying for time - again a great way to spook the provider and be blocked or blacklisted.

• Read their website for their booking and screening instructions, booking an appointment should take less than 4 messages

• If the provider requires screening, do NOT ask if you can bypass screening. If you don't want to screen, just find someone who doesn't screen or has a lighter screening process.

• If they require a deposit, do not put down more than a 50% deposit. The average deposit is 20-50%, and if the provider has a solid online presence it is not a scam. Do not send 100% of the payment before meeting. As long as you have done your research on the provider, deposits are an indicator of professionalism.

• Do NOT enter your credit card information or ID info into any 3rd party "verification sites". The provider will do the screening directly and you don't have to pay to be verified - this is a scam.

Do NOT haggle donations - this is super disrespectful. If you can't afford the donation, find someone in your price range. There is are providers pretty much available in any price range.

• Do NOT text "hi" or "are you available" or "hey baby" as your 1st message to them.

• Don't contact multiple escorts at the same time, it's rude and wastes our time.

• Do NOT send dick pics or any explicit pics/videos. To be blunt - we aren't impressed and this will usually be a turn off if anything. Some providers may want a selfie as part of screening, but literally just send whatever they ask for!

• Do NOT ask the provider to send "verification" pictures, its considered rude and is a tactic of time wasters. If you feel the need to ask someone to send verification pictures, then you haven't done enough research or you haven't found an established provider. Extra pictures not in the ads are often found on their social media, personal website, or onlyfans. If they don't have these things, offer to pay for a picture and don't expect it to be sent for free.

• If a provider has their face blurred, please do NOT ask for a face picture. There are plenty who are "face out" so if you need to see someone's face to book them, choose someone who already shows it.

A Sample Template For 1st Contact:

"Hello, my name is John Smith, age 45. I found your ad on Tryst, and would like to set up an appointment! I was hoping to meet on Tuesday May 7th at 6p for a 2h Escort at your Incall location. I'll be coming from Cupertino. My schedule is flexible and I could start as early as 4pm and would need to be driving away by 9pm. I am free during the same time window any day that week. I have attached your required screening items to this message. I look forward to meeting you!"

• The more professional and polite you are, the quicker they will respond and set an appointment.

• If for some reason the provider doesn't reply, politely message again in a day or 2 to follow up. If still no reply, move on to the next provider.


• Once your date is set, read their ad or website again to see if they have any etiquette laid out about cleanliness, handling the donation, etc.

• Some providers require you to shower on arrival - please do not argue and do not rush through the shower. This is important.

• Bringing a gift or tip is not required, however it is always appreciated and a great way to gain status as a good regular. Good regulars are usually given priority in the future.

If you see someone from an agency such as Temple of Bliss, then 100% please do bring a tip in that situation!

• PLEASE be mindful of your breath. Stay away from heavy foods right before meeting, and keep your flossing regimen up.

• Show up to the date on time, but not early.

• Please do not ask the provider personal questions (ex: do you have kids, are you married, in school, etc). If they bring that information up themselves, then fine. Feel free to share any personal details about yourself though, as its a wonderful way to build intimacy.

• Relax, enjoy your time, and have fun!